“Initially, I thought I had appendicitis. After a week of putting off scans and blood tests, it was a trip to emergency with the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. A tumour on the outside of one of my ovaries caused it to twist and become necrotic. It was removed and tested. It was difficult for the pathologists to be conclusive and as a precaution, I had a hysterectomy two months later.
This year has been eventful to say the least. I turned 50 and celebrated 20 years of marriage to the man I met in kindergarten! My eldest daughter started year 11 and my youngest started high school. Luckily, they have managed to cope with my cancer diagnosis very well.
Honestly, the bigger trauma for me, my husband and my two girls was me having to go through the grueling process of chemotherapy and as a result, losing my hair. Going bald was my 50th birthday present! For a short time, there was even a competition between me and our Labrador Retriever, Charlie, to see who could leave the most amount of hair on the floor!
It was one of the lovely nurses at the chemo intro session that told me to consider the Look Good Feel Better workshop. She spoke highly of how beneficial others had found the workshop. But what really sealed the deal was hearing from a friend (who I knew didn’t really spend much time or effort when it came to make-up) how much she gained from attending.
I went along and sure enough I had a great time. I learned things from how to use eyeliner to cover up the fact that you have no eyelashes, to the proper way to apply blush!
I loved the headwear demonstration, especially trying on different wigs, colours and styles. Being brunette, I’ve always wanted to know what I would look like being blonde without the chemicals! I think I could pull off the blonde do.
On a serious note, the best thing about the workshop was being in a room with a group of lovely women, all going through trauma, but all laughing at themselves trying on different hairstyles and scarves, and experimenting with different make-up application.
After attending the workshop, my daughters were particularly impressed that I could draw on eyebrows that looked better than my real ones!
I would definitely recommend Look Good Feel Better to women of all ages who are going through cancer treatment. If for no other reason than to be able to spend some fun time with others in a similar situation where they will find more empathy than sympathy.
This last six months has been the longest time I have been off work since maternity leave 12 years ago. In between chemo, I have been able to catch up with friends that I hadn’t seen for a long time. I could pick my girls up from school, and go to all the daytime school events that I normally would have missed out on. I have become a little less tolerant of the small things that stress a lot of people. There are so many more important things in life like your family and friends. What doesn’t get done today, can always be done tomorrow!”
“While undergoing my annual pap smear, I called my doctor’s attention to a small lump on my thigh, which I thought was a cyst. She didn’t muck around, and within four days, I had received a diagnosis of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, just a week before my 59th birthday.
Career-wise I had been planning a big year; I had developed and produced online courses for dyslexic children and adults in Australia and had just finalized the itinerary and payment for a seminar tour of New Zealand. Instead, I had to postpone the trip to start treatment three weeks after my diagnosis.
My treatment involved six cycles of a fortnightly chemo regime followed by two cycles of fortnightly tablets, just to clear up any stray cancer cells. The chemo started to take its toll after the second cycle where I lost my hair. But the fourth and following cycles were the toughest, especially the immense fatigue where it was difficult to walk far without experiencing serious breathlessness.
I believed that learning about lymphoma and the proposed treatment regime, as well as maintaining a positive, optimistic mindset and outlook, would give my medical treatment the best opportunity to work.
While waiting in the oncology reception, I saw a poster for Look Good Feel Better, so I decided to look into it online. I booked into a session after my first chemo cycle, which was a good thing as I still had my hair and confidence.
I think had I waited until I ‘needed’ to go, I would have not felt as strong when I started losing my hair. I felt that taking a proactive approach would help me get all the information I needed to take control over my own appearance. It was the only thing I could control during my diagnosis.
The most important thing about the workshop for me, was the information about headwear and wigs. I was not aware that you could buy hats that cover the whole head, and by layering the scarves and turbans you can create an individual look that is stylish and doesn’t scream ‘chemo’!
I wear skincare and make-up daily so felt comfortable with my routine and application. What amazed me was how many women don’t wear makeup usually and how patient and supportive the volunteers were, showing compassion while helping and guiding the women to apply the beauty products.
Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, it’s just a speed hump in the journey of life. Seeing other women of all ages living with cancer and managing their diagnosis with the support of one another and the support from the Look Good Feel Better volunteers made me feel like I was not alone.
After the Look Good Feel Better workshop, I booked in to see a wig consultant to get the ball rolling. Friends had suggested I might not lose my hair and perhaps I shouldn’t jump the gun on purchasing a wig, but I wasn’t going to wait to find out – staying strong means taking control of what you can and trying to keep things normal – so I purchased two!
Always being someone who likes to be informed, no one was surprised that I had booked myself into the workshop, in fact they would have been surprised if I hadn’t! I guess my family and friends noticed how positive I was about the physical changes that were taking place. For example, when my hair started to fall out, I decided to shave it down to a number two and went straight to wearing headwear – very stylishly – even around the house! I was putting effort in because I wanted to stay positive for me and my family, and thankfully I knew how to do it fashionably thanks to the tips I picked up at the workshop!
Since my diagnosis, two of my friends have also been diagnosed and I have recommended that they attend a workshop too.
These days, I am prioritizing time for myself, and exploring my creative side. I have taken up water colour painting and love it! And I have finally had time to explore what was on my to-do list for when I retired (yeah, right!) I had always enjoyed knitting and colouring-in but when my son suggested I try painting, I thought, why not?
Being a self-employed woman who uses public seminars to promote my products and services, I have given myself time off through the cycles. Once treatment has been completed, I will again hit the stage and I’m sure no-one will be any the wiser with the new-look me!”
“When I received a call only an hour after the CT scan, I was shocked, devastated, scared and above all, heartbroken. It was advanced ovarian cancer. My initial thoughts were of Kevin, my husband and my girls, Willow (2) and Lilith (4). I cried and cried thinking about what this diagnosis would mean for them. I felt so sad at the thought of missing out on seeing my gorgeous girls grow up.
Within two weeks of diagnosis I was starting weekly chemotherapy, which was harrowing. I had no time to digest the news prior to starting treatment. I left work on the day I found out and have not been back since. As an embryologist with a real passion for women’s health, I was at a critical time with my special projects. But I had to walk away from it. It was time to start looking after me.
I was just so used to being a busy 39-year-old; working four days a week, exercising, socializing and raising my girls. Suddenly, my world collapsed into a litany of hospital appointments, fatigue, pain, and bed rest. I had panic attacks and was feeling genuinely scared about leaving the house. I was very down and found it hard to be positive.
A friend mentioned the Look Good Feel Better workshop. What really appealed to me was meeting other women facing cancer, as I want to connect with that community and with people experiencing a similar journey.
I also want to feel empowered and confident in the face of the diagnosis. I had already cut my long blonde hair off, but I realized that I wasn’t as brave as I thought I was when I flirted with the idea of going bald. I thought that playing with makeup and wig/turban styles could make me feel in somewhat in control of the journey, and would instill some confidence in me.
Surely enough, at the Look Good Feel Better workshop, I learnt how to do fabulous make-up, and so many people have commented on my eye make-up since attending, which makes me look less tired and sick. When I see myself in the mirror with make-up on I feel less like a cancer patient and more like my old self! I am now wearing make-up every time I leave the house – I honestly had stopped bothering after the initial diagnosis. I learnt about wigs and how to tie scarves and wear flattering headgear.
The best thing about the workshop was seeing other women bravely take their headwear off, seeing their vulnerability in their baldness and then seeing them transformed and light up as they were draped in gorgeous headgear and wigs. The workshop was a reminder that I wasn’t alone on this frightfully awful journey.
I would absolutely recommend Look Good Feel Better to others going through treatment for cancer. It’s great as a support network, as a way to boost confidence and feel empowered while going through the anguish of cancer. The workshop helps you deal with cancer in a positive way, by looking at fun things, like fashion and make-up, not just chemo and drugs. It helps you feel pampered, special and in control.”
“I was lucky enough that my GP felt a small change in my breast that I had not noticed. As a qualified sonographer, as soon as I saw the ultrasound image I knew the lump was malignant.
I was obviously shocked, I never thought it would be me. I have been involved in healthcare and medical imaging for over 25 years and have even diagnosed many cancers during my career. It was a real eye-opener suddenly being on the other side.
I called my husband, Ramsey as soon as the mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy was done to let him know. As it was just a week before Christmas, while I was reassured that the prognosis was good, we decided not to tell family and friends until we knew the next steps.
A few more tests were required to check the actual make-up of the cancer and therefore what the course of treatment would entail. I was upset when I knew I would be having chemotherapy as this was quite unknown to me. However, I received the best of care and felt grateful for such an amazing healthcare system to diagnose the lesion so early and quickly and allow me to get on with treating it.
Since diagnosis, my husband and I have put a few things on hold – from overseas travel to simple dinner’s out. Since treatment has started I am wanting to ensure I stay well and healthy, and I look at how life can fit in with treatment. Now that I am understanding the cycle of my treatment better, I hope it becomes easier to add social aspects back into our routine, for both me and Ramsey.
I wanted to attend the Look Good Feel Better workshop for many reasons. I had heard about this charity some time ago but never had the need for it. It seemed like such a simple but wonderful offering. I was hoping to meet with others going through the same process without having to explain what was going on – almost like a ‘normal’ moment as opposed to reassuring everyone I was OK.
I really wanted to attend as I had no idea what to do with my appearance, especially in my role as a CEO! Up until the age of 47, I have never had to wear a hat or wig, and didn’t really know anything about how to tie a scarf or accessorize. Having always had curly red hair I really didn’t know where to start.
The skincare and make-up component of the workshop was great fun and I learnt a few new tips which have since come in handy, particularly for the appearance of eyebrows. We had a few laughs along the way as we all started to enjoy this rather than worry about how we look. The camaraderie was great and supportive.
The main learning for me was how to choose and style headwear. I never knew there were so many choices, giving the illusion of having hair and volume. Some great tricks were shared, as well as plenty of samples of various hats and wigs for us to try and create new looks with.
The best thing about the workshop was twofold; the camaraderie was great fun amongst those that attended, and the endless support, advice and smiles from the volunteers. This goes a long way in reminding you that you are not alone during this challenge and you are surrounded by a group of amazing people. I regularly catch up with two ladies I met during this workshop as we continue to positively support each other. I was able to leave the workshop with a positive plan as to how I would present myself. This was really important both personally and professionally.
Since attending the workshop, my family and friends have certainly noticed a change in me. I have had comments that I look well and happier – it’s amazing what a little colour can do! These positive comments go a long way to making you feel better, no matter what else you may be going through.
I would certainly recommend the workshop to anyone going through cancer treatment. It is amazing to be in a room of people that understand, even if we are all on a different path. It offers you the chance to ‘let your hair down’, without feeling self-conscious or too vulnerable. The learnings you take home, even if you already know how to do make-up or wear headwear is invaluable, reminding yourself that you are supported, and that you can look and feel good!”
“I had some family history of cancer and an Aunt who had recently passed away as a result, so when my GP diagnosed me with breast cancer I wasn’t in complete shock. Even though I thought the chances of it happening to me were low, I figured that since I was diagnosed, I would do what was necessary to get treatment.
Since diagnosis, from a personal perspective, I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by friends and family who have rallied around me, both in person and online. My partner and children who are aged 11 and 8 have been a great source of love and hope. From a career point of view, although I have limited the hours I work in the retail industry, it has been a healthy source of sanity for me to socialize with others.
Most days I dress in vintage clothing from the 1940s/50s and I go by the pinup name Miss Jade Serpentine. I am keeping a positive attitude since my diagnosis and having been sharing my progress through my pinup persona. My view is that, if I can be open and share what I am going through, that I could potentially help someone out there who is experiencing similar things to me.
Each cycle of chemo knocks me out in some way or another but I have a fighting spirit and I know that it is just temporary. I am hopeful that the cancer is getting smaller every day and I am getting stronger every day as a result.
I had heard about the Look Good Feel Better workshop many years ago through media and then I saw a brochure in the hospital waiting room. Even though I was maintaining my pinup look, I thought by going to the workshop I would meet locals going through cancer treatment. I was also interested in learning the best way to look after myself in the coming months.
I learned about the various skincare products and techniques better suited for skin during chemotherapy. I also realized that feeling good on the inside would automatically be reflected on the outside. I was given the opportunity to share my experience and expertise with the other participants and volunteers by demonstrating how I tie up my turbans and some of my make-up techniques.
The volunteers who run the workshops were just fantastic, they were all happy to talk to the group, encouraged us and gave us help where needed. I had a support person with me on the day and the volunteers were happy to chat with her and include her in the workshop experience too.
The workshop reinforced that having a confident attitude and appearance is one of the most positive things that I could do to get better. I would definitely recommend and strongly encourage anyone in my position to register for the workshop – sooner rather than later!”
“I have had a run with cancer for 12 years now. I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 1994, followed by chemotherapy and radiation treatment. Five years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction. Then I had a malignant thyroglossal cyst that was treated with surgery and this year, at the age of 50, I have had a relapse of the Hodgkin’s.
The diagnosis came after my haematologist ordered a series of tests for severe abdominal pain. My initial reaction was along the lines of ‘well that’s a shame, but lets just get on with sorting this one out.’
As a senior lecturer in midwifery, I was worried about how my work-life and colleagues would cope without me being around for a while whilst I had treatment. And I was particularly sad for Michael, my husband, and Rosie and Oliver, my kids who yet again had to see me through another round of cancer.
Since my diagnosis I have been very aware of my body’s needs and what I feel comfortable eating, drinking and doing. While I’m in treatment, I’m not working, which is very strange, as that was always a really big part of my life.
Michael and I live in the Illawarra, so when we are not working in Sydney, we like to walk, garden and support live music and the arts in our community. We have a number of chickens and a rather large property to look after, so our weekend home-life is precious to us.
Friends and family have been massively supportive; I have a freezer full of lovely donated food, and many I can call on to help or whinge to whenever I want. I feel so grateful to them and also grateful to be living in a developed country where I have access to first class healthcare.
I attended the Look Good Feel Better workshop to do just that – look good and feel better! I had been scared to put on make-up, especially mascara as I felt it would hasten the loss of my eyelashes but realized at the workshop that I felt better after applying some – and that I was imagining that they would fall out sooner!
I also wanted to meet other women in a similar situation to me. A friend of mine who had also gone through cancer and had been to one of the workshops told me it was a fun thing to do – and it certainly was.
I learnt little things about applying make-up and preparing the face. Things like the importance of sunscreen, eye-cream and the best way to match your foundation and powder to your skin. I also picked up some great ways to tie scarves and all about the latest wig technology!
The best thing about the workshop was meeting other women going through similar experiences. Seeing that some of them had also lost their hair and were transformed by the wonderful make-up artists and headwear experts was inspiring.
When I tried on a wig with a full face of make-up and looked in the mirror, I felt like it was me looking back; not the pale face with a badly tied scarf I’ve been looking at for the past few months. It made me feel better, just as the workshop promised!
I came home with colour on my cheeks and eye make-up so I looked less tired and sad! I have been making more of an effort with my appearance since the workshop, so I imagine my family and friends might have noticed that. But it’s how I feel that matters, and I feel good putting on a bit of eye make-up now!
I would definitely recommend a Look Good Feel Better workshop to other women going through treatment. It was a lovely sized group, with very supportive and experienced volunteers. It was lovely to focus on your hair and make-up (and to be given a bag of cosmetics!) which is something that can fall by the wayside when you are so focused on the medical side of treatment.”
“Earlier this year, life as I knew it changed completely. I was diagnosed with cancer. I actually found the lump myself late at night on a weekend so I had to wait until Monday to see my GP. He reassured me that it would be OK, but sent me off to do some tests as a precaution. I was feeling increasingly nervous as the day went on. I was sent for further tests and people were telling me less at each step of the way. It was another eight days before I was told it was cancer.
I am a 54-year-old mother of three adult children and grandmother to three grandchildren. Before my diagnosis, my life revolved around family but I also worked as a full-time Human Resources Manager which kept me very busy. We live on a five-acre block in Dubbo with a beautiful garden which takes up many pleasurable hours of work.
My initial reaction worried my doctor because I really just sat there silently trying to absorb my new reality, while my head was racing in turmoil. He kept asking if I had any questions, but I didn’t know what I wanted or needed to know. I really just wanted the time to take it in and think on my own.
My husband, Mark, had been with me the whole time and as we drove home we started to talk it through. He is a very logical person who could start to put together a list of what would happen next, whereas I’m usually the one worrying about what everyone else will need. I didn’t know how or what I would tell the kids, my mum and my sister. I didn’t know how to help Mark to cope.
Before long I came out of my fog enough and organised to see a specialist surgeon and my breast care nurse mentioned the Look Good Feel Better workshop to me. I had also heard about it through friends in the community. My sister encouraged me to go along and have some fun with it.
Prior to being ill I used to do a full hair and make-up routine daily, even on weekends! My appearance had changed so much, I felt that attending the workshop might give me some tips to cope with this. I also thought it might be good to have some fun with other ladies who would be feeling the same way.
Sure enough I went along and there were a lot of positives about the workshop, the amount of information covered, the quality of products we used – and the fact we could take them home! But mostly, I appreciated the caring nature of the volunteers who ran the workshop – they were all very naturally gentle and kind people who made me feel very welcome and comfortable. They were honest and funny, relaxed and helpful.
The workshop renewed my interest in putting on make-up and that made me feel better and more confident when I went out in public. I became less worried about my bald head and have become more accepting of my appearance through seeing so many other ladies going through what I was on the day. It was actually the very first time I had allowed anyone else to see me in my bald state.
I was surprised to find out that Look Good Feel Better provides this service for free and can only do this because of people like you who donate and support the program. I would recommend Look Good Feel Better to others going through treatment for cancer. It’s an opportunity to have fun, but it also reminds you that you are not alone and gave me something besides the words “cancer” to focus on. I would encourage you to please make a donation today and ensure Look Good Feel Better can continue its work right around Australia.
Since my diagnosis, I really can’t believe how much time and effort goes into just handling things each day. Right from dealing with surgery, waiting on test results, trying to remain positive and healthy, to starting chemotherapy and dealing with so many side-effects and challenges that this treatment has hit me with.
My structured days are long gone. Now I prefer spending time with family. I set smaller goals for myself, celebrate my achievements and go easy on myself if I don’t succeed. I accept help more readily from others. Overall, my life has become quieter with no work pressure and not much of a social life. I spend my days alone rather than dealing with a revolving door of staff, and I spend a lot of time just healing and trying to deal with the ongoing physical and emotional challenges. Look Good Feel Better helped me find the confidence I had lost and I urge you to please make a donation today and help make a difference to women like me.”
“In 2001, I found a lump in my left breast around the same time my scheduled mammogram was due, so I went along and everything came back as normal. Thinking that the lump was just a blocked milk duct and feeling fit and healthy I just forgot about it. But the lump continued to grow.
I mentioned it to my doctor early in 2002 who sent me for a biopsy straight away. The results came back positive and my initial reaction was: What does this mean for my children? What does this mean for me? Although I am not usually one to react too quickly and I am generally a very positive person.
So I did what I had to do. I underwent a lumpectomy of the left breast followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I came out of the diagnosis with positive results.
However, in January 2015 I discovered another lump. This time it was in the right breast and so I had another lumpectomy with six weeks of radiotherapy to follow. I also had a mastectomy and underwent chemotherapy yet again.
The second diagnosis made things a little more intense. I struggled to stay positive especially on those down days when I was feeling most ill. But when you start to look good and feel better again you realise, YES life can still be good and there is more to come – places to go – people to see.
I first attended the Look Good Feel Better program during my first diagnosis in Wollongong with another cancer patient and remembered the experience as one that I had enjoyed. This time, the breast care nurse at Shoalhaven Cancer Care Centre gave me a folder with information for cancer patients, which included the LGFB program. I didn’t feel like I needed to go again.
However, after the mastectomy and the recent bout of chemotherapy, the nurse again hinted that maybe I should go, and I am so glad I did. I went into the workshop hiding behind a scarf and walked out 10 feet taller. I paraded around town hoping to bump into someone I knew as I felt so good. This lifted my morale so much that I am sure my whole body has reacted to help me get through the rest of my treatment. How grateful I was. I did not think that this could be possible.
I learnt so many things at the workshop but learning how to shape my eyebrows was a big bonus. I had not used tinted moisturizer before and this was just a great tip given my skin is so fair. Plus, I learnt many ways I could dress up a scarf or wear a hat.
Realising the opportunity to look good really does make you feel better was just the best thing. More confident, bigger smiles, more to give back to yourself and I am sure the ability to heal your inner self more quickly both physically and mentally.
When your children and friends see you happy and looking very healthy their perception of your illness changes. They see you as more positive and then they become positive, which reflects back the full circle to you – the patient helping you to cope better with the trauma of the disease.
Sometimes we do things, or go somewhere that we do not feel we want to do which turns out to be a gem in our life that we don’t. This workshop was one of those times. Life is all about opportunity, grab it will both hands!”
Chantelle had just settled into her new hometown of Melbourne from Perth having accepted a rewarding role in Corporate Affairs for a multi-national company. The 29-year-old took the plunge, knowing nothing was unattainable having lived and travelled extensively in her twenties. But a shock cancer diagnosis changed all that…
“I had gone in for my regular two-year pap smear and unfortunately it was all downhill from there. I was initially in a lot of shock when I was told it was cancer. I remember thinking, ‘no, this can’t be right, people my age just don’t get cancer!’
Then the terror of the unknown set in and before I knew it I was catapulted into treatment, cycles of sickness, hospitals and everything else that comes along with the rollercoaster of the big C.
While going through chemo I lost all my hair and became quite ill and naturally my self-esteem plummeted. I couldn’t go out or see my friends and became very reliant on my parents and partner. That in itself was hard to come to terms with as I had been fiercely independent my whole life.
But along with the bad came the good. I developed some wonderful relationships with people I wouldn’t have ever imagined talking to at work. I look at life differently; I don’t judge people the way I used to as I have learnt all too well that everyone is fighting their own battle even if it doesn’t look like it from the outside.
A colleague who went through breast cancer two years ago, reached out to me as soon as I was diagnosed. She had attended a Look Good Feel Better workshop while she was going through treatment and recommended it to me. To be honest I probably wouldn’t have gone if she hadn’t mentioned how much it helped her.
Although I already wear make-up every day, it was great to learn a few tricks during the workshop, especially how to pencil in my eyebrows properly given I had lost them! I also learnt about wigs, which was very handy.
The absolute best thing about the workshop were the volunteers and the other participants. It was really great to spend time with people who were going through the same thing. The volunteers were so understanding and gentle and provided such a lovely and welcoming environment.
After the workshop I had a real sense of comfort knowing I wasn’t alone. There were lots of women feeling the same way that I did. To know you are not alone and to have that support during the Look Good Feel Better workshop is so powerful. I would recommend it to anyone going through cancer treatment, even if you think you don’t need it!”
For 44-year-old cancer patient Helen the Look Good Feel Better workshop offered a sense of calm amidst a shock diagnosis of breast cancer. This is Helen’s story…
“I was breastfeeding and noticed that one breast produced less milk than the other. There was a mass of tissue which I assumed was a blocked milk duct which would explain the lack of supply. My doctor examined it wasn’t too concerned. I went back a year later, after my aunt had passed away from breast cancer, and expressed my concern. It intuitively didn’t feel right. I was back in her office two weeks later diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer. I felt numb. It was a very surreal situation. She said my reaction was very stoic. I heard her words, but couldn’t process what it meant.
Little things have changed, not those grand sweeping concepts that I’ve read about. Taking a walk in the sunshine during chemo treatment was just lovely. Being present and patient to my now two-year-old as she discovers her independence.
I hesitated to attend the Look Good Feel Better workshop at first, because I was the kind of woman that would leave the house with just a bit of moisturizer on my skin. On the surface, I thought that was just about a bit of make-up and styling.
But I realized it was much more than that after I attended. The best thing about the Look Good Feel Better workshop was that it reignited my need for self-care, self-love and self-respect. I was starting to feel comfortable in my own skin at the age of 40 something, but lost a large part of that during the initial stages of treatment. I came out of the program more positive about little things I could do to make myself feel better. I continue to wear blush every time I walk out of the house, and sometimes even a little eyeliner. The small pieces of me that I lost during treatment are starting to find their way back.”
“Towards the end of June, I found a lump in my left breast. I went to my GP and the following day I was sent for an ultrasound and mammogram. There were four small areas of concern and so I had to have fine needle and core biopsies done.
Waiting for the results was the most gruelling time. My breast was growing larger and firmer by the day and finally on the first of July, I took a phone call from my GP saying I needed to go see her: “Oh, and bring Saul with you,” she said.
As soon as we sat down she said it was cancer and that I would definitely need chemotherapy. Saul and I both burst into tears. All I can remember is saying “oh shit!” over and over. We had already been through gruelling times with the loss of one of our children – and now I was diagnosed with cancer.
Our life since diagnosis has changed considerably. For starters, childcare is not the ideal workplace for someone on chemotherapy as the risks of infection are too great, so I have had to stop working. Getting by on one income has proven difficult but thankfully there are support services out there. Our children are able to stay at their day-care and keep their normal routine. Saul is taking days off work to care for me, and my mum is around to take me to some of my chemo appointments.
Losing my hair was my biggest worry. As a woman, I’m conscious of how much my hair defines me. I turned to social media seeking help. I put out a message asking if any photographers would donate their time for a family photoshoot before my losing my hair. I had one photographer contact me and we arranged a photoshoot at our local park. A week later, once my long brown locks were falling out, I again turned to social media, this time for a hairdresser who came to our home and shaved my head so my girls could be involved and see the transformation. Through my tears I could see my three-year-old smiling and encouraging me through it.
Once I was over the shock of having cancer, I began looking into the different services and support I could access. Counselling, group support, alternative therapies, some took my interest, some didn’t. Then I came across Look Good Feel Better. I was a bit unsure as I don’t usually wear make-up, but every week my lovely nurses, while administering my chemo, would say they had only heard good things about the workshops. So I called and registered.
I attended alone as I wanted this time to be about me. It was so great seeing other ladies bald or fuzzy, like me. It was the first time I had gone bald in public, and gave me a little more confidence. Going through skin care, then onto the make-up was simple and easy to follow so much so I have been wearing make-up more often and looking after my skin better! Also having the scarves, turbans, hats and wigs to have a look at too was great. Even having my own wig, it was nice to try some others.
I would definitely recommend anyone with cancer to attend one of these workshops, men too! And if you don’t want to go alone you can bring a friend! It is a great morning meeting new people in similar situations and learning new skills to help me cope and feel better about myself.”
“I had noticed a sharp, hot pain, like a hot knitting needle poking into one spot of my left breast around 24 weeks into my pregnancy. I spoke to my obstetrician about it and he suggested I speak with my GP. My doctor examined the area and when no lump could be found she advised me to return in a month if my symptoms worsened.
I didn’t enquire again until my 37-week appointment and received a referral for an ultrasound. My pain had gotten stronger and I had noticed it keeping me awake at night. When I went for the ultrasound I already knew something was wrong, despite the sonographer’s best attempts to chat to me normally. He took so many more images of my left side compared with my right. When the radiologist came in, he was very frank and told me ‘it looked suspicious’ and he went ahead with a fine needle biopsy.
I don’t think I cried, I just remember leaving the imaging centre and getting things done that I had to do before Ben, my husband, got home from work. I was keeping myself busy to take my mind off things. I cried when I told him what the radiologist had said although we still didn’t have a diagnosis.
The next day, my husband rang to say the obstetrician had contacted him and wanted to see us together that afternoon. Obviously I knew that meant the worst and when we arrived, we were told of my diagnosis.
The obstetrician had already made me an appointment to see a breast surgeon. He offered to induce my labour that weekend but we weren’t quite ready. He also told us that it was likely I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed and this news probably upset me more than anything else.
That weekend we had to just get it to together and make sure we had everything perfectly ready for the baby’s arrival. I was induced early and Autumn was born on 19 August, 2015.
Two days after giving birth I underwent a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, a bone scan and a mammogram. They explained the contrast used in the bone scan would make me radioactive for a day and whilst I could be in the same room as Autumn, it was best not to cuddle her too close. This wasn’t good enough for me so I told Ben to sit with her in the nursery, while I sat in the room alone waiting for the radiation to disappear. That was quite a sad day for me.
The surgeon identified three sites of cancer in the left breast. I was told that the treatment plan included six months of chemo followed by surgery and a full mastectomy. There were many tears as I had thought I wasn’t going to need chemotherapy. That was also the day I found out I would definitely lose my hair from treatment which was quite a shock as getting my hair styled and coloured was always my little treat to myself.
My life has definitely changed since diagnosis. I need to take things a bit more slowly now and I have to accept help when it’s offered to me. I am still going through all the things a new mother goes through and having breast cancer doesn’t change that. It’s still such a special and exciting time, despite the sleep deprivation and steep learning curve.
I look for silver linings all the time now, such as Ben being able to bond with her as he can feed her as well! Now that I have lost my hair (Ben shaved off the rest with an electric clipper) my wig looks really good and it’s very easy to look well-groomed as it is already styled.
When I was diagnosed and given the BCNA pack I had already started looking online for any support networks as I wanted to be as prepared as possible. Look Good Feel Better sounded like a great way to meet other people going through cancer while learning how to look my best, and care for my skin, during a time when my body was struggling with the medication that was doing the exact opposite to me!
I learnt how to apply make-up and where to start and finish my eyebrows if I need to draw them on- they’re clinging on at present! I didn’t wear a lot of make-up prior to my diagnosis but now, if I do go out to socialise with friends I tend to put more on and it really does give me the confidence to see other people.
I learnt how to best take care of my skin and now I routinely cleanse and moisturise my face and scalp twice a day – as well as using body lotion to keep my skin looking it’s best and preventing it from getting too dry. I didn’t know at the time that I should continue to lightly shampoo and condition the scalp as it stimulates and encourages blood flow.
Although I was one of the younger women who attended the workshop I think, once you get a diagnosis like cancer, you bond with those going through what you’re going through. We all did have a good chat and it was really great to see their faces light up when they had applied their make-up and also tried on a wig or headscarf. The transformation was really beautiful to watch as I suspected some of the ladies didn’t wear much make-up before. Looking back, that was the best thing about the workshop for me; seeing a group of women, all going through a similar experience and all looking their best after applying some make-up and trying on a wig.
We also got an enormous amount of free products that I am still using! These are donated by the cosmetic companies and I was really impressed with the brands we were given- another silver lining!
I would definitely recommend this workshop to others going through treatment for cancer- and the sooner the better to go. You’ll learn new things while meeting people that make you realise you’re not alone. It also stops you from getting too ‘down in the dumps’ about it as you realise there are so many people going through this, have gone through it, and come out the other side.”
